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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27913324">Better Off Alone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard'>startrekkingaroundasgard</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>31 Days of Ficmas 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>31 Days of Ficmas, Depressed Doctor (Doctor Who), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Feelings, Friendship, Snow, Strangers, Walks In The Park, Winter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:13:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27913324</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekkingaroundasgard/pseuds/startrekkingaroundasgard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader sees the Doctor sitting alone and invites her on a walk around the park and talk.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Doctor (Doctor Who) &amp; Reader, Thirteenth Doctor &amp; Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>31 Days of Ficmas 2020 [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2035468</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Better Off Alone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“She’s still out there,” you said, peeking out the window for the fifth time that afternoon. It was a quiet neighbourhood, way out from the city and pretty much in the middle of nowhere. You knew everyone within a five street radius – an area that encompassed your entire village – but she was an unfamiliar face. That automatically made her interesting. Paired with her unusual behaviour, you hadn’t been able to push her from your mind.</p><p>Absolutely nothing about her screamed dangerous. How could it when she was sat there in a lilac coat, cute trousers and a bright rainbow scarf? Her presence concerned you, though. Not in a way that left you feeling unsafe. No, it was more that you were worried about her, about this strange woman that hadn’t moved from the swings for almost eight hours.</p><p>    “She must be freezing.”</p><p>Your flatmate groaned and you braced yourself for the cushion to the back of the head that almost inevitably followed. Thankfully, this time they weren’t in a particularly violent mood and instead just said, “If you’re so concerned go and take her a hot chocolate. Don’t invite her round for tea, though. There’s barely enough food for us since someone forgot the shopping.”</p><p>Turning, hand on hip, you pointed out that it was in fact them who had forgotten to get the groceries this week and had instead spent the food budget on a new tree for the living room. (It was, admittedly, a lovely Christmas tree and definitely added to the festive vibe of your otherwise depressing empty home but it wasn’t edible and that was less great.) Your argument was met with little more than a shrug and you just rolled your eyes, so used to their shit that it barely registered any more. “There cash in the cornflake box. Order a pizza or something for later.”</p><p>You threw on a thick coat and snow boots then trudged out to the park opposite your flat. She didn’t react to your presence at all, not even when you took a seat on the swing next to her. Dragging your heels through the slushy snow, you coughed lightly. When that didn’t attract her attention, you gently reached out to touch her arm. “Hello?”</p><p>    “Oh!” The blonde woman shot upright, beautiful eyes wide with surprise which quickly turned into a guarded acknowledgement. Stranger still, the rest of her face was bright and alive, as if she hadn’t spent the past eight hours sat out in the cold staring at nothing. It was a sharp contrast to the truth in her gaze. “Hello. Can I help you?”</p><p>    “Actually, I thought you might need some help.” You introduced yourself, pointing out your house across the street. She supplied her name as The Doctor, although the reluctance to share even that was clear. You didn’t take it personally; after all, you were little more than a nosey stranger to her. Hoping to change that, though, you said, “I saw you out here and was worried.”</p><p>    “No, no. I’m fine. Thank you, though. That’s kind of you.”</p><p>    “What are you running from, Doctor?”</p><p>She turned to you so fast that you heard her neck click. Under her intense glare, a mixture of fear and distrust, the urge to draw into yourself was overwhelming. You wondered if you had misjudged her, written her off before realising how dangerous she could truly be.</p><p>You lifted your hands from the swing, placating her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to hit a nerve. It’s just… I know that look. I ran away from a pretty bad situation myself and… Well. It doesn’t matter.” You  stood up and nodded to your house. “You know where to find me if you wanna talk about it. We’re having pizza for dinner.”</p><p>Before you could take a step, The Doctor caught your hand. Eyes on the ground, she apologised profusely, all but confirming your suspicion that she was living in the shadow of a terrible past. You weren’t expecting her to open up, and she didn’t, but she did ask, “Do you fancy a walk? I could do with stretching my legs. Not used to sitting still for so long.”</p><p>    “Of course.”</p><p>The park wasn’t large but it still took a good ten minutes to do a complete circuit. After a first lap in silence, only the whistling wind and crunching leaves underfoot to fill the quiet, you asked, “Have you got any friends, Doctor? Anyone to help you out, I mean.”</p><p>    “Not any more. They all left. It’s my fault, really. I didn’t give them much of a choice. It’s better that I’m alone.”</p><p>    “That can’t be true.”</p><p>False cheer once again filled her voice and you even caught a bounce in her step as she fought back her demons. “Really. It’s good, you know. Plenty of time to think, sort out all the pesky thoughts in my brains. Don’t have to share my biscuits with anyone. Win win.”</p><p>    “Sometimes it’s nice to have someone to share your thoughts with, though.”</p><p>Her forced enthusiasm dimmed and you realised then that she missed her friends even more than you had originally realised. “Yeah. My pal, Yaz, she was a great listener.”</p><p>    “Why don’t you find her again, Doctor?”</p><p>She shook her head and kicked at the frozen leaves around her. “Can’t risk it. I have to keep her safe. I have to keep them all safe. It’s a duty of care and I can’t do that when they’re with me.”</p><p>    “You wouldn’t hurt them.”</p><p>It wasn’t a question but it still came out as one. You immediately regretted the tone when her face fell, revealing an ugly truth. As you tried to talk her back up, The Doctor cut you off and said, “I don’t mean to. I try so hard but things never go right. I’ve upset dangerous people over the years and they take my friends, my family, and use them against me. And even when I think we’re safe, trouble follows me everywhere.”</p><p>    “That isn’t your fault, Doctor.”</p><p>    “Isn’t it? I find good people, great, fantastic people, and we have great adventures but something always goes wrong. They change, become brave and fierce and wonderful and they put themselves in danger for me. That’s always on me.”</p><p>You had to disagree there. Almost slipping on the icy leaves, you shuffled round to face her. The Doctor almost bumped straight into you but you caught her arms and held her still, urging her to listen to you, to <i>properly </i>listen. “I think you’re wrong, Doctor. That’s a choice your friends have made. Whatever comes from it is on them too. You can’t carry the weight of the universe on your shoulders. Not alone.”</p><p>The Doctor shrugged your hands away but smiled appreciatively. Whether she’d taken onboard your meaning or not you would never know but you felt a burst of pride when she said, “I’ll reach out to them. Let them know that I’m alive.”</p><p>A little thrown by her choice of words, ‘alive’ suggesting that she was involved in something considerably more intense than you knew how to deal with, you pushed it aside for the time being. She needed someone to encourage her and today you were happy for it to be you. “That’s a good start, Doctor. I’m sure they’ll be happy to know you’re okay.”</p><p>    “Thanks for the walk,” The Doctor said.</p><p>You looked up and realised that you were back outside your house, both sad and concerned to leave The Doctor. She was something else, clearly lived a life that you couldn’t fully imagine, but you knew that she shouldn’t be alone. Not today, perhaps not ever. While you couldn’t commit to the latter, you really did want to be there for her now.</p><p>Gesturing to your door, you said, “The offer of pizza is still good, if you’re hungry. And if you need somewhere to sleep tonight -”</p><p>    “I don’t really sleep,” she admitted. That would certainly explain the tiredness she carried around like a bag full of rocks. Like a nervous date, she hovered at the bottom of your path as you walked to the door, indecision rife. Eventually, though, she made her choice. Hands shoved in her pockets, she nodded and said, “Have a good life, Y/N.”</p><p>    “You too, Doctor. You too.”</p>
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